How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion

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Summary

Densely packed life advice on helping prioritize what's important and how to do more of that.

Notes and Quotes

Most problems are interpersonal. Do what you’d do if you were the only person on earth. 

When you know what you’re doing, you won’t care what anyone else is doing. 

Never agree with anything the same day you hear it. 

Being independent means you can’t blame others. Decide everything is your fault. Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself. 

No choice is inherently the best. What makes something the best choice? You. Your dedication and actions make a choice great. Pick one and irreversibly commit. When you’re stuck with a decision, you change your attitude towards it. When you have too many options, you’re conflicted and miserable. 

Find a community of like minded people. Don’t waste time fighting norms. 

Expressing your anger doesn’t relieve it. It makes you angry. The metaphors “blowing off steam” or “venting” are wrong. 

Skip the actions.
Go straight for the emotion.
Practice feeling emotions intentionally, instead of using actions to create them.
You don't need marriage to feel security.
Marriage doesn't make you secure.
You don't need recognition to feel pride.
Recognition doesn't give you pride.
You don't need a beach to feel tranquility.
Places don't make emotions.
You do.

When you’re young, time goes slowly because everything is new.
When you get older, time flies by, forgotten, because you’re not having as many new experiences.

Go make memories.
Do memorable things.
Experience the unusual.
Pursue novelty. 

Document everything or you will eventually forget it. 

Journal everyday. Write down activities, thoughts, and feelings. 

Striving makes you happy. Pursuit in the opposite of depression. 

The most rewarding things in life take years. Only bad things happen quickly. 

During your work time, do nothing but work.
Keep your hands on your work, and your mind will follow.
If you get stuck, just stop and close your eyes.
The vacuum will extract your actions again

You’re proudest moments were overcoming a struggle. The best happiness comes after some pain. 

Since you can’t avoid problems find good problems. 

We empathize with someone who’s struggling. It opens our hearts more than seeing someone win. 

People think they’ll do something later.
They think they’ll have more time in the future than they do today, as if later is a magical time when everything will happen.
Forget the whole notion of the future.
There is only today.
If you want to do something, do it now.
If you don’t want to do it now, then you don’t want to do it at all, so let it go.

If you’re not embarrassed by what you thought last year, you need to learn more and faster. When you’re really learning, you’ll feel stupid and vulnerable - like a hermit crab between shells. 

So don’t depend on circumstances.
Everything that happens is neutral.
Your beliefs label it as good or bad.
The only way to change your happiness is to change your beliefs.

Did someone make you angry?
Did a situation make you sad?
No.
It’s all you.
Nothing is good or bad.
You just reacted as if it was.
When something bad happens, ask, “What’s great about this?”
Instead of changing the world, just change your reactions.

Schedule everything to ensure balance of your time and effort.
Scheduling prevents procrastination, distraction, and obsession.
A schedule makes you act according to the goals of your highest self, not your passing mood.
Schedule quality time with dear friends.
Schedule preventative health checkups.
Schedule focused time to learn.
Schedule each aspect of your life, ignoring none.
List what makes you happy and fulfilled, then schedule those things into your year.
The balanced schedule protects you from hurting yourself, from getting overwhelmed and ignoring important needs.
You won’t over-work, over-play, or over-indulge.